My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
