what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
