Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
