The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
