I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
