i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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