Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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