You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
