After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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