No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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