In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
