you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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