god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
