I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
