I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
