Cold hands, warm shart.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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