You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
