so that wasnt chicken after all
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
