in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize