The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
