My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
ttyl tear gas
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
