So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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