you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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