I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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