a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
