You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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