What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
