she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
