THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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