Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
