How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
