needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
sex in a hospital.. check
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
