if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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