so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
