Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
