dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
