She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize