somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
