Dual....:-)
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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