she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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