So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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