I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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