its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
