i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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