I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
