so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
