Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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