its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
