I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
