Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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