He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
