i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
