how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
