just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize