like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
