i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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