I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
