i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
