that's an acceptable place to lick
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
