Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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