My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
